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All about incentives
Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor
ME DEAR mam, de other day me deh a dis meeting a foreign. An de speaker begin tell we how we fe memba fe gi pickney incentive when dem do nutten good. Suh when him done talk, me seh to meself seh, look at dat. Look how dis foreign man tek me granny wud outta har mout seh "encouragement sweeten laybah." Massy. Cause missis, when me was a lilly pickney, a neva little bit a encouragement me did get. My dear lady, yu see if when me g'a school an come fuss inna class? Me nuh mean second, or third, or fourth. Me mean fuss. By de time teacha call een me fahda an bruck de news, hell pop inna me madda kitchen. An both me madda an me fahda get very bizzy. Talk dis ting ova an come to one agreement. Me fahda woulda hold on little till next week Sunday. "Cause dis pickney haffi get one a de chicken leg een ya tiddeh!" Den when yu see me waltz outta dat deh kitchen. Wid me plate pile like any wheel barrow. An de chicken leg de whole length a nawt to sout. An de lass wud roun me aise kanah seh "Come back if yu waan more." Missis, every other pickney yeye tun ova pon me wid bad feelings same time. Like a me dis puddung salt physsick fe gi dem soon a mawning. A de same way me an dis yardie a foreign a talk bout incentive, an him seh das when him did pass Common Entrance, little most fe him parents dem put him pon float inna festival. But de greatest ting of all was dat him nearly faint weh when him fahda hatarize him fe siddung inna fe him space a de head a de table. An him madda put him fahda two chicken leg pon a plate in front him. Yardie seh while him madda deh oneside a seh "Eat, eat!" Fe bout half hour him couldn't talk. Cause all him life him did believe seh a only man, who a huppen an shet him own door, coulda eat fowl leg. "Suh believe me man, when me look inna me plate an see de two sinting weh ongle big man eat, me nayly drap dung tink a dwarf me tun an dem neva know how fe tell me." Suh my dear lady, we neva shawt a incentive. As a matter a fact while nuff foreign pickney an some a fe we late a days one a yard custom fe get all kine a expensive tings -- video game, digital camera, computer, car, brand name dis an dat -- fe present, nuff pickney like me who neva bawn wid gold spoon inna we mout, woulda get a gift from a list dat look like dis: 1. One Nutty Buddy instead a icicle when Fudgie stop a gate this evening.2. One bottle a whitening cause de whitening done an de crepp fe whiten.3. Tek de evening off. Smady else can bwile de hog feeden, but all y'affi do a go look fe de peeling skin an de wood fe ketch de fire. An when de zinc pan put on, just gi a eye cause de smady haffi g'a prayer meeting.4. Nuh badda wash nuh clothes tiddeh. Tomorrow yu dweet cause wi proud a yu.5. Come ya pickney! How yu spell "Two poun a tripe an poun an a half a hag aise?"How yu mean weh me seh? Yu deaf? Me seh: "How yu spell two poun a tripe an poun an a half a hag aise? But see ya? A weh teacha a laan oonoo a school? Nuh yu dem seh come fuss inna spellings? A muss de fuss weh yu ketch deh a mawning time dem a talk bout. But yu mek a eva ketch yu wid da new timble weh I buy an yu fine out wah gad y'a serve. A simple ting like two poun a tripe an poun an a half a hag aise, an yu cyaan spell it. Den suppose a did anyting bigga'n dat?" Suh me dear mam, a who foreigner a come tell bout incentive? Tek care! Dr. Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a communications professor and a radio talk show host in the University of North Carolina system.
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