7 Ways to nurture your child's dream

Helen Collela, Contributor

Abigail Stewart (left) and Justine Thompson learns the beauty of bonding early.

WHAT DO you dream about being when you grow up?" is not such an easy question for children to answer. From early, their dreams change on a daily basis. So how's a parent to know how to prepare a child for the future?

If you start by understanding the difference between daydreaming and real-life dreams, you're on your way to nurturing your child's dream successfully.

When your child daydreams, as in a temporary leave of absence from real life, you'll notice it's satisfying and imaginative, and takes little effort. "It allows kids to stretch their creativity in a 'safe' environment without fear of ridicule and failure," says Colorado-licensed child-care provider Carol Steward. "When daydreaming, all dreams can come true."

Whether it's about becoming a lion tamer, fire-fighter, pro athlete, or veterinarian, it's a normal phenomenon and a healthy aspect of a child's development.

When your child dreams, as in striving toward a desired goal or purpose, it, too, is satisfying and imaginative but takes much more effort to achieve. Look at the intensity of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Then consider how hard he worked to reach his goals and how others still strive to fulfil his dream.

"There's a big difference in the two," says Margaret Hill, a former high school counsellor. "It's important for you, the parent, to help the child understand the difference." The day will come when day-dreams must be put aside and real-life dreams must be dealt with, and you will be needed to help the child separate the two and learn how to nurture the real-life dreams. Here's some suggestions to help you along.

Parent's expectations

These can often determine the direction and process a child will take in following his dream. So it's important for you to be thoughtful and considerate.

1. You should be aware of your own preconceived notions about what your child should do, and listen, without judgement, to his ideas.

2. You should be able to recognise the things your child is and isn't interested in or capable of doing.

3. You shouldn't think of your child as an extension of yourself and force him to do or know all the things you didn't learn or get to do.

Self-respect

Building self-esteem is a key factor to remember.

1. Help your child to know and accept who he is.

2. Encourage him to make the most of his interests, abilities, and activity levels.

3. Teach him how to adapt his style to achieve success.

Setting goals

Each achievement along the way should be acknowledged and praised.

1. Show your child that both long and short-term goals are essential and that trying to start at the top is impossible.

2. Demonstrate how one step (accomplishment) leads to another.

3. Instil a positive, optimistic, can-do attitude and encourage your child to keep trying, believing in himself.

Knowledge and education

Learning all you can and taking advantage of different experiences help move your child closer to success.

1. Encourage your child to investigate the criteria, training, special requirements, earning potential, advancement, related occupations, and find as many resources as he can.

2. Expose your child to as many different avenues of information as you can find.

3. Provide your child with special lessons or training schools. Arrange an opportunity for them to 'shadow' an expert in his area of interest for a day, week, or month and encourage him to enter contests and competitions.

Financial planning

Finances are a definite factor, and planning will provide a better chance for ensuring security.

1. Encourage your child to save money, from a young age.

2. Help your child check out the Internet for different ideas.

3. Don't forget to check out financial aid in the form of grants, scholarships, loans, work/study programmes, prepaid tuition programmes through the school's guidance department.

Hard Work and discipline

These two ingredients build confidence and lead to success.

1. Make sure your child understands the preparation, hard work, and study that are needed to pursue his dream.

2. Reinforce the need for total discipline and dedication.

3. Make it known that there are no shortcuts or time pressures, but that staying focused is essential.

Spiritual guidance

The foundation of all plans stems from our beliefs.

1. Remind your child of his belief in God's power and wisdom.

2. Encourage your child to use prayer as an aid in achieving success.

3. Assure your child that his faith will guide him along the right path.

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